This conversation about loving or hating money has been going on a lot in my VIP community. Resistance around tracking metrics and cashflow, fear around asking for the sale, and old crappy childhood beliefs about money coming up to bite us on the bum.
Well, I have a confession to make.
I used to hate money.
Not consciously mind you. Of course not! Outwardly I would say I love the finer things in life.
And yet, those finer things were not gracing me with their presence because inwardly I was doing everything to HATE money – and as we all know hate is a repelling force.
No wonder I could not get what I said I wanted.
This week a little tongue in cheek but oh so real reminder of How to HATE money in 5 simple steps!
Step One: Buy Into other People’s Patterns
This is a biggie. Thing is, that we learn about the world years and years and years before we become consciously aware of how those patterns are effecting us.
Our parents and caregivers, our peers, our close family friends and anyone else you had close contact with as a little tacker – specially up to the ages of 7 and lesser so 14, have had a MASSIVE impact on your belief systems.
The next time you are bemoaning LACK in any area of your life, money included, I am willing to bet the majority of the stories you are telling yourself are coming not from your own conscious beliefs, but from the unconscious patterns you have been given in these formative years.
Actively ask yourself: what am I believing for this reality to be true? Who’s beliefs is this anyway? Do I really want to live life through that lens?
Step Two: Make Money Evil
Again this is a conditioned thing. Not too long ago I had a session with my healer /naturopath / healer / meditation teacher guru and we were talking about true abundance mindset and when she said, “you know it’s okay to love money” and despite CONSCIOUSLY agreeing 1000%, I had a strong visceral reaction that really surprised me.
My stomach clenched, my breath got shallower. My lizard brain was screaming at me “only arrogant arseholes love money Kylie” and you know what, I have done a Whole. Heap. Of. work. On. My. Money. Mind.
Years and years of work, unraveling, disconnecting, embedding healthful beliefs, letting go of generational stuff an yet I just could not ignore that reaction. Just goes to show that some of this stuff is oh so far down that even after years of work it can still come and bite you in the ass.
I saw evidence when I was little that money was hard to come by, money was stressful, money caused arguments, money was something to be held onto very securely, money was a heavy responsibility – when you don’t have its hard, when you do have you have to try NOT to spend it or there may not be anymore!
I also got the impression that rich people were arseholes. Arrogant. Selfish. Dodgy. Better then “us”. Had more money than sense.
No surprise that each time I break a new earning level more layers of BS come up to be cleared.
Dive deep: What was I taught about money when I was younger? What was my Mum’s relationship with money? My Dad’s? What did money mean in my family?
Step Three: Don’t Pay Attention to Your Money
This is another conditioned response but I also reckon that this comes very much from a society conditioning where it’s kind of taken for granted that there is “poor people”, “middle class people” and “rich people” and an unspoken agreement that maybe only the middle to rich know how to be responsible with money. Which is crap of course!
Again and again I hear from my life and business coaching clients that they don’t have the cashflow they desire and my very first question is how much attention are you paying to your money? I like to think of my relationship with money as a love affair and like all love affairs, my cash doesn’t pay me any attention if I don’t gift it my attention, time and energy.
Neglect your money and it will neglect you. Shove your head in the sand and cross your fingers when you pay out on the next business expense [or god forbid the next program that is going to “fix” you and your business], or when you pass over the credit card to pay for the next pair of shoes or dinner “treat” and you are showing your money
I don’t respect you.
I don’t care for you.
I don’t love you.
And guess what it’s going to do right back? You got it!
Build a budget and track, track, track! I resisted this for so so many years, but building a budget and tracking all cashflow in and out of my business AND family has been on of the most empowering decisions and commitments I have ever made in my life. You have to be AWARE of where you are before you can effect any change at all. I am not talking about sacrifice here, I am talking about true money loving, assigning each cent, making room for the things that truly matter to you, saving to give yourself a buffer, being kind to yourself through creating a cushion of wealth. DO IT!
Step Four: Don’t Ask for What You’re Worth
Holey dooley, there is so much charge around this one for women in business. The old chestnut of I can’t ask for money, there’s something dirty about it or I should be grateful for what I have already.
Or am I really worth it? Do I know enough?
The thing is in business you are not going to be able to create real healthy revenue if you can’t see and claim your expertise and ability. Now that doesn’t mean charge so far outside your comfort zone that you choke before you can get the words out and it doesn’t mean over-inflating your prices oh so much that your clients wonder what they are really GETTING for the price tag.
What I mean is be really truly aware of your own value and the superpowers that can help your clients to access something they just can’t access by themselves. It also means having a business model that supports both you AND your clients in a value driven way.
Own your true value: Where are your clients before they start working with you? Where do they want to move to? How do you help them do this? And perhaps most importantly what is it costing your client to stay stuck back there? Now THAT’S your true value. Make sure you are charging accordingly!
Step Five: Make Decisions from Lack
It took me oh so long to learn this. In my first couple of years of business I was continually building a new offering just to get me through the next month or whatever. I was not creating from abundance – from faith, trust, and Universal support.
I was making decisions that said loud and clear “I don’t trust you to have my back, funds are limited, there is not enough for me unless I hustle, work hard and basically kill myself” to earn money.
If you are continually telling yourself this too my invitation to you is to really take a good hard look at how that is working for you. Creating from a place of lack closes off your creativity, your divine inspiration, shuts down your heartspace, and severely limits the gold you can offer your clients.
Make Decisions from Abundance: You ARE always protected, loved, supported, taken care of. Try it on for size. What would you do differently, what would you offer to your clients, how would you treat yourself? What would our business model look like? And act on that.
Learning how to love money and allow it to love you in the end all comes down to Mastering your mindset and learning how to make friends with fear: fear of not earning enough, fear of not being good enough to access the abundance, fear of charging what you’re worth and all the other shizbit in your mind around the $$$ of business.
Master your mind, and the rest fall into place…
Goodbye money hate. Hello living from abundance.
Goodbye stuckness, overwhelm, frustration. Hello openhearted giving + Living.
Goodbye desperation and lack of focus in business. Hello a well crafted business model that cradles you AND your clients.